And the winner is....

One billion people..one-sixth of the worlds population tuned in last night to watch very wealthy people who spend most of their time playing a role other than themselves, walk a red carpet in expensive dresses and tuxedos and then wait in wonder to see if they are going to win a trophy for their nominated efforts. Outside of the somewhat slit-eyed gaze of the male host and over the top enthuasiam of the female host the Oscars once again prove that the world-or at least billions of people in the world-love a winner-and the "losers" while nominated for their performances have to wait to see if the Hollywood hand of fate will grant them the opportunity to thank their entire family and neighbors in less than two minutes. You can probably tell that I am not well versed in Oscar Land even though I made a last hour dash to see "The King's Speech" so I would know what was going on if I was able to hang on until midnight to hear...and the winner is...

I kinda knew that the male host was the guy I saw in one of the Spider Man Movies and the female host-who mentioned she took her clothes off in a flick (missed that one) was someone I had seen before-but not sure where. Thought the best part of the show was the opening when they were apparently in a dream of some kind and Alec Baldwin ( I know who he is) and Morgan Freeman (ditto) were like their guides or something-very clever. I was lost after that for the most part. So all that aside my thoughts today are not about the glitz, glamor and gushing-but rather how much we love to win-a war..a card game..an Oscar or an argument.

Vince Lombardi the legendary Green Bay Packers football coach said "Winning isnt everything-its the only thing." That pretty much explains how the Packers racked up so many titles in the 1960's-unfortunately for the Coach after he left Green Bay and went to Washington-his teams did not fare so well. They lost alot of games-Coach Lombardi also said that "winning is a habit and unfortuntely so is losing" and that "winners never quit and quitters never win." Kinda of a yin-yang deal there-doubtful that his players in DC were quitters but thats for another time. Sometimes you just lose no matter what effort you put out.

Coach was also quoted as saying that "winning isnt everything-but the will to win is." Now that brings it down to a different if not more comprehensive level that explains the deep need humans have to prove themselves as superior in some way over another. In the process of "going for the gold" as it were we have the opportunity to find qualities in ourselves that can sustain us when the inevitable life losses come our way-and for all those Oscar nominees that "lost" last night-my guess is that not only have they paid their dues to get to the point in their careers that they are recognized by their peers-but also they know the secret to really being a winner. How you accept defeat. My guess is that all of those nominees have "lost" more than they have "won" in climbing the ladder of "success" because while the taste of victory is sweet-its knowing how to lose that creates and builds character that keeps one moving forward inspite of the temporary set backs.

I faded in and out of the brodcast-at one point the hosts swapped clothes and that was...interesting. I caught a glimpse of the tribute to the show business icons that died in the past year and was a bit concerned when the female host introduced the most popular talk show host on the planet by exclaiming "I cannot believe I am breathing the same air as Oprah!" To which I shouted "WE ARE ALL BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS OPRAH" a knee-jerk tribute to my 5th grade science teacher Mr. Zielinski lessons- but no one but the cat heard me.

For the "winners" of an Oscar they will be forever be connected to the crowning achievement and be remembered as such. The also-rans will be remembered as "Oscar nominated" which brings with it kinda of "made the playoffs but didn't win" label. As I thought about how winning has been drilled into my head from coaches over the years I realized that in truth the wins and losses in my life have been about even. The drive to be one's best self and the strength to carry on are not only byproducts of victory-they are hallmarks of defeat as well. I have learned that "losing" brings its own gold along with it..just have to dig a little deeper to find it.... Imagine a show where they say...and the loser is...we could all relate to that one.

Disposable Heroes...

It was just one week ago when the story broke that two-time Super Bowl champion and vaunted Notre Dame alum Dave Duerson died in his home at the age of 50. Mr. Duerson took his own life it was revealed - and after being a highly sought after draft pick to the Chicago Bears, playing on the 1985 team and then in 1991 with the Giants in the big show-a string of roller-coaster rides began. Some success in business lead to failures in business. His marriage dissolved and a domestic abuse charge got him kicked off the board at Notre Dame. A staunch defender of NFL veterans and one who linked all the head banging on the field to erratic and sometimes fatal consequences off the field, Mr. Duerson wrote a note to his family asking them to donate his brain to research, texted his kids that he loved them, put a gun to his heart and pulled the trigger. Another Disposable Hero gone.

Football more than any other sport is our version of the gladiators in ancient Rome. The stadiums are filled every Sunday with bloodthirsty fans waiting for the next collision, the next touchdown and the next victory. Its a strange but not new relationship between fans and disposable heroes-they are larger than life and living a life so many fans dream of but never got a chance to experience-so fans do it vicariously through these modern day gladiators.Its a diversion, a business and a game all at once but the cost to the fans and owners is nothing compared to the pain and price these men pay to entertain us. Jim Otto played for years on the Oakland Raiders-matter of fact he is the original Oakland Raider. His courage on the field is legendary-but off the field-away from the eyes of the paying public he suffers much like the gladiators of old suffered after their time had passed. Nearly seventy (70) surgeries on his knees..a $40,000 carbon prosthetic leg after surgery failed to help him keep it. In the last nine years he has had five life-threatening infections surrounding the foreign material in his body. Back when Jim Otto played in the 1960's players rarely made more than $12,000 per year-with bonuses. The Raiders made millions of tickets, television and merchandise.

Pro football is not going away-with bigger, faster and stronger players the chance for career ending and life threatening injuries is only going to increase. Dave Duerson not only lost his life but sadly before that lost his identity in life and applied a permanent solution to a temporary problem that looked permanent. For such a learned man and exceptional athlete #22 succumbed to the worse thing any human can face- the loss of self.

As Duerson and hundreds of other disposable heroes are forgotten except by occasional wafts of football trivia and back slappers at bars talking about the 1985 Bears team new, raw and ready recruits stand to take their place so we can cheer them on...so often to feel better about ourselves and a longing to be connected to something bigger than our mundane existence. I played midget, high school, college and semi-pro football and had my share of concussions, broken bones and noses, a knee that gives me trouble and fingers that are bent in unnatural angles. So I know a little of what I write. Sadly, Dave Duerson will not be the last of these disposable heroes to fight in the arena for our enjoyment and then succumb to the reality we all have to live with. Life-the real contact sport. 

What A Fool Believes...

Trying not to make a habit of using song titles for blog titles but sometimes not only does it save me time-but also it fits right in. The Doobie Brothers made it a hit but it was Loggins, McDonald and a couple other dudes the wrote the lyrics..."what a fool believes..he sees...No wise man has the power to reason away...what seems to be is always better than nothing...ta ta da da...etc..." That simple lyric contains not only the key to opening new doors in life but being able to see what is...and what is not clearly-hence keeping you out of the chaos of life. When I do my LifeWorks! Seminars I ask this simple question "What do you believe Christmas is all about?" If there are 50 people in the room I usually get about 40 different answers ranging from "presents" to "headaches" to "joy" to "Jesus" to "sadness." Then I ask them to decided which persons belief is more "right" than someone else...of course it takes about four seconds to figure out that each person's belief is "right" because of the experiences they have had-that supports how they see Christmas. Using that one simple example it takes only about two seconds for people to at least begin to understand what The Doobie's are saying...what a fool believes..he sees..NO MATTER WHAT. We live in a world that dominated and shaped by beliefs-some that work for us-some that work against us-for thousands of years humans believed that the world was flat-it wasn't. Humans believed that the Sun revolved around the Earth-it doesn't. Old world types believed that if  Robin flew in your window someone was going to die- my guess if the window wasn't open the Robin bit the big one. Religion in all its forms is based soley on beliefs-if you believe like us..or kinda like us..you are ok..if not...God is going to kick your hindquarters to H..E..double hockey sticks. Buddhists believe that we keep coming back over and over again (like a spiritual boomerang) to gain enlightenment. 2 billion Christians believe that we are born in sin and have only one or two ways to go at the end-up or down- a really nice country club type place with all our friends or a trip south to burn forever-however long forever is. Purgatory kinda exists for some but not others-like a weigh station for the soul while God decides how long you wait. Seventh-Day Adventists say Jesus is on his way back-New Age believes he is already here. Politics is a bevy of beliefs..The Left says more and the Right says less....more or less...Independents believe its individuals that matter and vote for the man (or woman) not the party. Muslim extremists believe that giving their life up for the greater good ensures that 170 + virgins await them the minute they pull the cord and Lindsay Lohan believes that walking out of a store without paying is ok and Charlie Sheen believes that its alright to have a porn star babysit his kids. Beliefs are like weeds...or trees...or flowers-you pick...in that every belief starts somewhere-underground...out of sight for each of us. A word when we are young- an image at a certain time..something touches the nervous system and then the way we see the world..and who we are in relation to that-is locked in place. For years I believed that I could eat anything I want-and it would not affect me-until it did. That's the thing about belief-unless you test it-you never know if they are valid. I for one have no desire to strap dynamite on my body and blow myself into Johnny-bits hoping that somewhere there is a lineup of virgins ready to do my bidding. "What a fool believes" those beliefs that make us act foolish...cannot be reasoned away by a wise man...or anyone else. Humans for the most part would much rather be "right" than "happy"...change is something you do to a wet baby-until life comes along and makes you change. Cancer. Divorce..Job loss...you name it. Then we see our beliefs in their full truth-and have to make a decision...why do I believe what I do? Does it serve me or am I just a product of those that have come before me? Beliefs...they shape our world...your life and mine...if they are working for you great...if not...why not? To let go of our beliefs is to let go of a lifelong identity.....image that. "What seems to be is always better than nothing.." Unless its not.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

The bearded bard Eric Clapton said it plainly in song..."Before you accuse me...take a look at yourself..." It doesn't take but thirty seconds on the tube or radio to be awash in chatter that is a best filler and fodder for the lower life forms to feed on...but its oh so tempting to be pulled into the latest rants and raves from talking heads, pundits and politicitans. As a card carrying member of AFTRA I have to include myself in the electronic landfill called media-albeit I am diligent as I can be about moving the needle to a higher frequency. Recently the "mouth of the south" Rush Limbaugh was quoted on air as saying that "the First Lady looks like she is not following her own suggested eating plan" and "would never end up on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition." Now no one should be surprised at an El Rushbo rant-this is the same guy that said drug addicts were low life pond scum and then later admitted he was an addict himself. But his comment about Mrs. Obama took me back to a show on the Golf Channel in which "the pro to the pro's" Hank Haney was trying to teach Limbaugh how to improve his golf game. Rush showed up in a pair of shorts that looked like a large blanket with two kids fighting under it when he lumbered around the course, a shirt that had some sort of horizontal stripe thing going on that did nothing to hide the considerable bulge and gave the appearance of a well presented river buoy. Even I know that if you are a tad..or alot overweight..you don't wear something that widens you out...the guy makes 40 million bucks...who let him out of the house this way? Might have been his fourth wife that is twenty some years his junior who was out having tea with Elton John who sang at his wedding which was also an interesting move since Rushie is not big on homosexuals. So whats the point? The man who makes a shitload of money pointing out other people's shortcomings be it in politics, sports or fashion is a great teacher of the "KKK"...not that KKK...rather the "Karmic Kickback Koncept" (I know its not really spelled that way-but its my blog) meaning that what you put out comes back to you...when you least expect it but when it is needed most...if you are aware of it. He refuses to consider other peoples opinions and points of view..unwilling to listen..so he loses his hearing and now wears an implant in his ear. He bashes the military moves and stratagies but turns out that he never served-instead getting an exemption for...wait...a Pilonidal Cyst. A pilonidal cyst is an abnormal pocket originating in the skin that usually contains hair, skin debris and other abnormal tissue. A pilonidal cyst is almost always located near the tailbone at the top of the cleft of the buttocks. The term "pilonidal" comes from the Latin words for hair ("pilus") and nest ("nidus"). Bottom line...a cyst on his bum..literally a pain in the ass. I could go on about his lack of serving in any public office of any kind and getting dumped from Monday Night Football due to racist comments but truth is nothing has to be done...what you speak to you create...what you put out comes back..what you focus on the longest becomes the strongest. I get that Rush needs to be paid attention to and when his ego needs a boost he has to say things much like a 12 year old to feed that kid his dad never connected with and the reloving door of women in his life is trying to marry his unfinished business with his mom..but don't let his rants go unrewarded...use his struggles to make your life easier..."before you accuse me...take a look at yourself.." Or someone else will....Fore!

Higher Ground...

After doing well over 11,000 radio shows and hundreds of speaking events from Trindad to Toronto, Atlanta to Aspen and Chicago to Cucuamonga..it appears I am entering officially the vast and unexplored territory of blogging. I guess my friends and others got tired of me calling them when the latest celeb fell off the wagon-or got run over by it or some politician's nocturnal wanderings make headlines or some so-called "natural disaster" wipes out part of the human population-and chewing off their ears on how I see these events. "There must be an outlet" I scream.."they took away my microphone" I whine..."someone must take a look at this stuff differently and start going in the out door..up the down staircase and..and...and...by then they have usually put me on hold with really bad Tiki band renditions of Barry Manilow music or at least hit the mute button so I cannot hear them holding other conversations that pertain to their lives. Either way-here I am. Why "Higher Ground"-that's simple-its the only place left to climb when the absurdity of life, the calamity of culture and the hypocrisy of humanity has me pulling out what follicles I have left. I am convinced beyond a shadow of your doubt that all these events in our lives are begging us...pulling us...imploring us to evolve instead of re-volve..go within so we don't have to go without and stop pointing our fingers at each other and take a good hard look at ourselves first. I want us to win...you and me..our lives to "work" better than they do and move forward instead of repeating the same things over and over again and expecting a different result. I do not profess to be a know it all...a guru or sage..I am just a guy from the streets of Chicago that has lived...a somewhat strange existence and created opportunities to transcend from who I used to be..to whatever life form it is that I am becoming. When the news of the day heads into the land of "WTF" and you are feeling like a short turd dropped out of a tall cow's ass...its time for an expedition to Higher Ground- together we'll ascend to new heights...new perspective and new..never mind. You get my gist. Hope to see you here...onward...